Like many people, I love to travel.
My personal counter has passed two hundred thousand kilometres — and that’s just behind the wheel, on road trips in different countries.
To get a sense of how far that is, picture the circumference of our planet at the equator: I could have driven round the Earth five times by now. Yes, driven! And that’s not counting flights to exotic places. Travel has taught me a great deal.
What does travel teach us?
Lesson 1. Put the phone down and stop thinking about work.
The hardest part of a holiday is putting your phone away and stopping thinking about work. If you’re always on call, wrapped up in work processes and trying to keep tabs on colleagues and staff, it isn’t a holiday at all.
You think everything will collapse without you, that nobody is capable of making the right decision; you feel you’re losing control, and worst of all, it seems nobody needs you? After all, in everyday life people consult you on every question. You’re important. Not a single decision is made without your approval. That’s all nonsense!
I don’t hire people I can’t leave in charge of a business or project for a month — people who make their own decisions, take responsibility and earn bonuses for their own success. If I control everything, I’m a bad manager.
Lesson 2. Don’t pick expensive hotels.
Now, about holidays. Expensive hotels, with their service and the strained smiles of staff eager to please, make me slightly queasy. It’s far more interesting to throw myself into the real lives of the people of whatever country I’ve ended up in.
Chatting with a local at a market or in a bar, you learn much more than by listening to a private guide. Somewhere in Freud’s many works I came across a phrase that is simple in form but hard to grasp. The gist was that when we talk to someone, we study ourselves through them. Conversation leads to conclusions; it helps the nervous system find answers to the questions that torment us and solve problems that once seemed unsolvable.
Lesson 3. Learn to “switch off”.
Especially from propaganda.
In Venezuela I crossed the whole country with a taxi driver who muttered something in Spanish the entire way. I felt so finely tuned into this man’s daily life and mind that I was ready to march with him for the Venezuelan people, shouting “Chávez Sí”. And do you know what I understood then? The boundless power of propaganda. In every corner of the country, even the most remote, every family had a TV, a satellite dish and a diesel generator. People in the Orinoco Delta had no houses — they lived in shelters made of plastic sheeting and ate bananas and coconuts — but there were televisions under the awnings and a satellite dish on the tallest palm tree.
My conclusion, for travel and for everyday life alike: learn to “switch off”. Give yourself a digital detox so that your brain can reboot and come out of the fog of manipulation. Alone with yourself, you have a chance to separate the wheat from the chaff and work out what really matters to you and what is just noise.
Any movement around the country — only with a guide. Alcohol was sold for a few hours a day in a shop more like a fortress, with bars on the windows and armed guards. Illegal exchange of dollars for bolívars — only through a trusted money changer. Otherwise you might be set up and end up in prison for several years.
Lesson 4. Watch causes and consequences.
Another time I found myself in Barcelona. It was my first visit, and I got stuck there indefinitely. No, it wasn’t my decision — providence kept me there. Three thousand kilometres away, in incredible and mysterious Iceland, a volcano with an unpronounceable name spewed out hundreds of tonnes of ash. I was in Barcelona at exactly the moment Eyjafjallajökull decided to close the skies over Europe completely. Not a single plane took off in Western Europe in those days because of the volcanic ash, which is so dangerous for aircraft.
During those days I not only went on air on the radio station I worked for at the time, reporting on the flight ban, but also chatted with locals about everyday things.
Since then I’ve been to Spain more than fifty times, and every visit still surprises me. During the protests in Catalonia I followed events closely. As someone who works in political strategy, I tried to understand what was happening and why such mass protests took place. The reason, it seems to me, is fairly simple. Every school in Catalonia teaches courses on the history of the region. And since the schools are controlled by the local authorities, teachers cultivate disloyalty to the central Spanish government in children and tell them about the delights of the region’s possible secession from Spain.
More than one generation of Catalans has grown up on these lessons. But there is a catch in all this: if it seceded, Catalonia would find itself completely isolated from the rest of the European Union, forced to defend itself against a flow of refugees from Africa and somehow protect its borders — not to mention opening visa centres for tourists all over the world. And it’s not even certain tourists could get to Barcelona: European governments could close their airspace to all flights to Catalonia. The region would be completely isolated and unable to feed itself. Sadly, nobody warns the young schoolchildren about that.
Lesson 5. Keep children out of politics.
The next lesson I learned: neither on the road nor in everyday life should we let children be drawn into politics. History textbooks should be neutral, and children taking part in any political action is unacceptable. You don’t know how propaganda or contact with politics will affect your children in the future. And that applies to more than politics.
Psychology has a concept called imprinting. Vivid images, words and actions of other people cut into our memory and go on influencing our lives unconsciously for many years.
One of my clients once told me, half-joking, that she disliked cold soups and simply couldn’t eat them. Okroshka and gazpacho just wouldn’t go down; she didn’t like them. I remembered this very clearly but didn’t try to explore the reasons straight away. The answer came by itself a few weeks later. Her parents had been very rigid and strict, and if as a child she was late for lunch, she wasn’t fed until dinner — or she was given the soup from lunch, gone cold. I asked: as cold as okroshka? She fell silent and began to cry. Today she eats cold soups without any trouble and no longer jokes about it.
Lesson 6. Burn everything you don’t need.
After all that, how could I not end up in Iceland? I had never eaten so many herring dishes — and I love herring! It was there I tried hákarl, in plain terms rotten shark meat. The smell is nauseating, but it’s edible. In Iceland I learned a simple rule: burn all the junk.
On New Year’s Eve huge bonfires blaze all along the coast, burning everything people no longer need. But most importantly, Iceland teaches that a name and the thing itself can be entirely different.
A description or a name doesn’t always reflect what something really is. On any trip you may be offered exclusive services and unique experiences, but more often than not it all turns out to be stage props. Before buying any excursion or tour, or booking a hotel, always read reviews from ordinary people rather than the glossy brochures. Trust people’s opinions and don’t feed your narcissism and sense of being special. It will save you needless spending and disappointment.
Lesson 7. Learn hospitality and resilience.
A holiday in the northern countries, especially Scandinavia, is the best adventure there is. For me, no southern country with sea and palm trees can compare with the northern lights and the cold waters of the Arctic Ocean.
I’m madly in love with Norway, with its harsh climate and wonderful people. Norway teaches resilience and hospitality.
Once one of the poorest countries in Europe, living only off its fishing, it became almost overnight one of the richest on the continent. Yes, huge oil fields were found on the Norwegian continental shelf. But that money wasn’t carved up by state companies — every resident of the country became richer. And Norwegians still go on fishing, knowing the oil won’t last for ever.
Lesson 8. Don’t be afraid to try your luck.
Don’t close the door on a possible stroke of luck. On every trip, and in life in general, you might get an unexpected bonus that changes your life completely. Don’t deny yourself travel or the chance to try your luck. In every country I visit, I always buy lottery tickets. I won once, in Germany: I spent five euros and got a hundred and fifty back — a nice bit of luck, I’d say. Actually, more than once: I also walked out of the most expensive casino in Las Vegas three hundred dollars up. Let yourself try your luck within reason. In a casino or a lottery, only stake money you won’t miss.
Lesson 9, the most important. Keep it simple!
If you get into trouble and find yourself between life and death, ordinary people will help you for one reason: you are a human being. Yes, your friendliness and simple humanity can save you and your loved ones. Others read all your intentions, emotions and feelings within seconds. Be open and natural — it will help you connect with people and get not just discounts but the warmth of simple human contact.
The world lets us discover ourselves.
Psychologist, MSc in Psychology · 7 years in practice
Editor-in-Chief of PSY.one.
